BOOK REVIEW: OUT FROM UNDER: The Impact of Homosexual Parenting, by Dawn Stefanowicz
News Weekly, November 14, 2009
The children who will pay the biggest price
OUT FROM UNDER: The Impact of Homosexual Parenting by Dawn Stefanowicz (Enumclaw, Washington: Annotation Press) Paperback: 245 pages ISBN: 9781599770116 Rec. price: AUD$29.90
Reviewed by Bill Muehlenberg
One of the primary rights a child should have is to be raised by his or her own biological mother and father. The social science research on the importance of this is overwhelming. Children raised in a household headed by a same-sex couple are obviously deprived of this most important and basic right.
But there are a host of other problems associated with being raised in homosexual or lesbian "families". Dawn Stefanowicz knows all about this. She was raised by her homosexual father and his many partners, and has written up her experiences in this important book.
It does not make for easy reading. Indeed, given the excesses of the homosexual lifestyle, the book at times almost borders on X-rated reading. But the truth must be told about the homosexual lifestyle, and Stefanowicz does it faithfully, warts and all.
She was born in Canada to what at first seemed to be a normal family. But for much of her life her mother was ill, bed-ridden, and far too passive in the face of her husband's homosexuality. Thus she had to bear the brunt of his life, and experience the unpleasant realities of the many homosexual men who drifted in and out of the home.
No details are spared as the horrors of being raised in such a household are described. It makes for very sobering and sickening reading, but it is necessary reading, as the push for same-sex marriage and adoption rights continues unabated.
For example, she describes the wretched nature of her dad's sexual flings, and how she was literally left cleaning up the mess afterwards. It was not a pretty situation by any means. She tells about the nature of sexual addiction and perversion in which he was involved, and the stream of anonymous men who moved in and out for sexual encounters.
She suffered greatly in her own relationships with other children as a result. She could not relate well to boys or girls. Her dad made sure her teens years were a living hell. She recalls: "If I hung out with girls, he'd call me 'dyke' or 'lesbo'. If I hung out with boys, he called me a 'whore'."
In order to cope, she had to live a life with which she was not at all happy. She writes: "It was easier at times to act as if I were promiscuous, pretending to be at ease sexually among boys even though I wasn't. Promiscuity seemed to be the normal thing to me."
Then there was the violence - violence especially between her dad and his many sexual partners. Of course, with multiple partners, group sex and the like, there were bound to be rivalries, jealousies, hatred and arguing. This often spilled over into violent confrontations.
Worse yet, her dad would sometimes take her along when he went out cruising for anonymous sexual encounters. She saw how he would strike up lewd conversations with strangers, and then move off to have sex with them. She would be left sitting by herself in these dens of iniquity.
Mention can also be made of the sexual abuse she had to endure as a young girl, along with that of her brother. This was a life no one should be forced to endure, but she did. But when adults become addicted to sexual promiscuity and perversions, it is often the children who pay the biggest price.
But her dad of course also paid the price for his sexual proclivities. He struggled with depression, was often quite suicidal, and took sleeping pills for many years. "He lived a tortured life. ... Idle moments were to be avoided, as those were the times when feelings of hopelessness and emptiness would come flooding in. In a life lived as frenetically as his, reflection - leading perhaps to remorse or reform - just wasn't a possibility."
Then came all the physical diseases and sicknesses which are so closely attached to the homosexual lifestyle. But such conditions did not cause him to reconsider his unhealthy lifestyle - he simply got into it even further:
She says: "Dad threw himself into more and more risky sexual behaviours at an increased and even more frantic rate. As he tore his way through the gay bathhouses and racked up sexual partners beyond counting, he only seemed to become more belligerent and heedless of his impact on others."
Indeed, such reckless and driven sexual behaviour and addiction seem par for the course. "The desperate strategy he employed to keep the grim reaper at bay had in fact put down the welcome mat, and was inviting the cowled gent into the darkest recesses of his bloodstream."
In the end, her father finally died from AIDS.
This nightmare experience which Stefanowicz had to go through for two decades left her reeling. She was bewildered, confused and tormented by such an upbringing. But she has since known an incredible amount of healing and wholeness. And an amazing part of her story is how she now holds no bitterness or resentment against her father.
That she even made it through such a difficult and ugly upbringing tells us much about the author's resilience and strength. Her life is now empowered by her Christian faith, and she has moved on, now being married with two children.
She has forgiven her father and now offers help for others who were also raised in such households. She travels extensively, sharing her moving story. It is an emotional and powerful story, and deserves a wide hearing. For those who cannot hear her speak in person, this book is just as helpful.
This is surely one of the most politically incorrect books available. It dares to tell the truth about a very sordid and disordered world, where the rights and well-being of children are completely overlooked, simply so that adult lusts can be gratified.
This book should be read by everyone, but especially by those politically correct politicians who are so intent on pushing the homosexual agenda onto the rest of society. If they actually took the time to read this powerful and vital story, they just might have second thoughts about what it is they are promoting.